The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTONMy parents were secular. I am an atheist.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON -
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON -
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON -
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTON -
You think I look like a teletubby?
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
BEN ELTON -
I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
BEN ELTON -
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON -
I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
BEN ELTON -
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON -
I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTON -
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
BEN ELTON -
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON -
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
BEN ELTON -
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
BEN ELTON -
Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON -
And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON -
I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
BEN ELTON