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I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.

Andy Rooney

Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEY

Climb Happiness Live Mountain Top Yourself
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY

Custom Direction Evidence Institution Monument Myself Myth Social
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY

Confusion Heading Party Register
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY

Desire Fear Lonely Privacy
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
ANDY ROONEY

Drive Game Kill Thinking Yourself
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY

Happiness Life Strike Yourself
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Lost Missing Opportunity Position Yourself
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY

Place Time Unknown
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Myself Time Work
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Fact General People Truth
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY

Fold Food Restaurant Time Trust

I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.

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I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.

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