Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEYI’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY -
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY