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Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.

Andy Rooney

Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Heart Learning Person Time Understand
You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Poet Thinking Writer Yourself
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Money Myself Standard
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Person Room World
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Ourselves Prison Religious
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
ANDY ROONEY

One Liner Work
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY

Asleep Children Fall Feeling Learning Myself Peace World
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY

Children Gift Learning Myself
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY

Drink Goodness Hands Happiness Live Quite
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY

Act Friendship Learning Life Myself Requirement Serious

Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.

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Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.

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Popular Authors

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