I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEYGo to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY -
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY