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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

Andy Rooney

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY

Enough Funny Letter Money Myself Rich
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY

Care Herself Thinking Wake Up Woman
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness People Time
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Head Rule World Yourself
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Myself People Religion Thinking Willing
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY

Desire Fear Lonely Privacy
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY

Country Hate Loud Patriot People

I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

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