Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEYGuns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
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I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY