I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEYAnyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
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Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
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It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY