A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEYConservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
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I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
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I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY