Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEYNever trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEYThe third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEYA cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEYAnyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEYAll of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEYOnce you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEYEveryone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEYMy most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEYThe two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEYWomen realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY