I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEYWomen realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
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Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
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We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY