Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCEDistance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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