ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCEDistance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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