Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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