LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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