Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCEPresent, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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