History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCEPresent, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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