RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCEPresent, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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