PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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