Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCEHe who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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