A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCEHe who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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