Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCELitigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEI think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCERiot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCEThere are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCERATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCEPITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCEWhat is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCEOcean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEPresent, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCEDemocracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCEPhilosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCEARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCE