LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCELAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEThere are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCELove: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCEDebt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCEAn election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCEREFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEFear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCEBore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCELIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCEPerseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCEPhilosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCEThey say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCEHe who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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