An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCEDebt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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