Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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