Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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