LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCELaughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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