The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCEYou don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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