Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEYou don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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