Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCEWine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCEIn our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCEConversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
AMBROSE BIERCEREFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
AMBROSE BIERCETrue, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCEKnowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCEREALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEMIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCELAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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