Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCEResponsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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