I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGWe get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
More Alan King Quotes
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING