I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KINGSome would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
More Alan King Quotes
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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