For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KINGSome would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
More Alan King Quotes
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING






