My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KINGWhen I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
More Alan King Quotes
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING