That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KINGWhen I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
More Alan King Quotes
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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I was a high school throw-out.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING