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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’

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Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told

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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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