You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KINGWhen I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING -
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING -
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING -
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING -
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING -
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING -
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING






