If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KINGComedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
More Alan King Quotes
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING






