I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
ADAM CAROLLA