I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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I get depressed at airports.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA