If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLABeing a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA