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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

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Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Bag Creative Name Sleep Sleeping Speaking
. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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