black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

Adam Carolla

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Differences Drunk Funny Guess Hard Work Humor Worked
When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Excitement Express Knowledge Radio Show Yourself
Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
ADAM CAROLLA

Average Batting Delusional Good Hundred Percentage Pretty
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA

Alter Behaviors Good Help Incentive Shop Tell
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Dude Funny More Reason Why
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLA

Fake Funny Humor None Orgasm Two Type Women
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dumb People Stuff Stupid Successful
You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Accomplishment Feel Good Should Yelled Yourself
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA

Care Connection Country Hollywood Protection
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA

Definitely Drama Future Life Making Serious
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
ADAM CAROLLA

Enough Good Hurt Hurting Interesting Nice Parent People
You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
ADAM CAROLLA

Afford Between Bunch Choice Dropped Last Loser Unenviable
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Compelling Good Host Podcast
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA

Government Kind Mom Occasional Participated Welfare

I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Adam Carolla Quotes