If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I get depressed at airports.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA