He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLAYou should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I get depressed at airports.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA






