You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLAYou should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLA






