I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
ADAM CAROLLA