Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLAI get depressed at airports.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA