My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLAI get depressed at airports.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA