I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
ADAM CAROLLAA lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA