If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLAA lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLA






