If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA