Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA