When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLAI have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLA