I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
ADAM CAROLLAI have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA