I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAYou don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLA