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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

Adam Carolla

If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA

Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Each Friend Man Men Other Sex Spouse Thinking Tolerate Wife
I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA

Angry Comically Complaining Laughing People Start
The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Creative Reading Teliviosn Truth Watching
We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Always Country Going Gone See Want
I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA

Architecture Car Dirty Hammer Money Stuff Wanted
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Diarrhea Funny Hand Humor Riding Roller Coater Sex
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA

All Artistic Different Favorite Podcasting Radio Script
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funny Humor Month Potentially Really Trying Two Week
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA

Definitely Drama Future Life Making Serious
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself
When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLA

Especially Lot Missing More Partner Television
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA

Finished Funny Humor Masturbatory Pizza Session Two

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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