I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLA