Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA






