I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
ADAM CAROLLA