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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.

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Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crapping Experience Explore Life Yourself
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA

Biggest Coffee Soccer Soft Thinking Whatever World
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA

Desire Infused Need Office Passion Patriotism Place Probably Vigor
I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLA

Click Daughter Dude Funnier Gonna Mediocre Sense Staff Tell Writer
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA

Behind Feeling Feelings Joke Sort Stand Trying
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA

Audience Monetization Really Secondary Thinking
There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agnostic Atheist Away Bigger Cancer Christian Screening Take
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anything Eating Funny Humor Microwave Six Take
I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA

Care Connection Country Hollywood Protection
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLA

Bag Creative Name Sleep Sleeping Speaking
Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
ADAM CAROLLA

Enough Formatted Need Poor Reader Show Type
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ability Assess Honest Honestly Important More Something Working
I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLA

Blue Collar Doofus Guy Valley
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ashtray College High Junior School
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anybody Attention Ill Money Power Thought Towards Will

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