If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA