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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.

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Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking

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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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