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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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Bridge Built Done Meant Women
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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Crocs Down Gay Look Realize Wearing
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Definitely Drama Future Life Making Serious
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Asian Colege Fudge Funny Growing Up Humor People Thirteen
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Burn Calories Happen Masculine Trying World
My first car was a motorcycle.
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Buy Car First Mine Motorcycle Vehicles
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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Conservative Hollywood Need People Place
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Beautiful Beauty Definition Miracle Outside Profession
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really

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