If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLAMmm, tastes like hepatitis!
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
ADAM CAROLLA