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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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