I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLAMmm, tastes like hepatitis!
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA