I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLA