I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLAI know everything because I know nothing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
ADAM CAROLLA