Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLADon’t do your best, do my best.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
ADAM CAROLLA






