I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
ADAM CAROLLAThe Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA