If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAThe Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA