When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLAWe never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA