I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAWe never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA