Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLAMaybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA