[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLAIn my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA