Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLAMy life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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