What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINClassic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN