I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDSTake me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS -
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS -
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS -
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS